The Ordeal 5 - Waking Up Smiling

It all starts with you not wanting to get out of bed. The hint of you being fucked up again.

She's been laying around for a month already. Not a single person or activity sparked the tiniest bit of interest in her. The absence of a preset routine scared her. She couldn't bear the responsibility of making a choice that might end up with negative implications and consequences. In order not to, she decided not to decide. Not to choose. For choosing meant risking. And risking meant strength. Something she didn't possess anymore. Or did she?

How could you even think this was meant to be easy? In a world of contradictions and injustice, ignorance is bliss. 

She started with good coffee and good books. Getting out of bed, she would spend hours in her sweater and wrinkled pants sipping on strong black coffee and burying her thoughts in between the lines of books. Undone hair, unlined eyes. She often got lost in this overthinking process. Scrutinizing every single detail of each episode. Replaying every single day of each year. What went wrong? Where did it? Could/Should she have done things differently?

No matter how hard it gets, know that it shall pass. Do not think you can climb the slope on your own. People - real ones - help. To some extent. For the way out is when you start loving yourself all over again. 

She found it hard to be alone. With no one to wake up to. With no one to wake her up. She found it hard to feel unloved. Until she realized that she should give herself all the love by herself. She breathed in her insecurities. She started accepting her imperfections. She stared at herself for hours in front of the mirror. She told herself how beautiful she was. How she had the deepest eyes. How her smile conquered hearts. How she thought her hair was pretty. How she loved her curves. How much she loved herself. And how no one else mattered. Neither what they thought or said.

One word. Faith. 


You did not avenge Islam, you fools!

Just as Charlie Hebdo has a long history of mocking religion, the attack that killed 12 people today in France is nothing more than pure disrespect towards Islam. A bunch of ridiculous men enters the magazine headquarters, shoots everybody on their way, screams “Allahu Akbar” few times and runs away – you seriously think that was jihad for you? Do you believe that this barbarous act of yours will in any way restore the respect others had towards your religion? Or even, are you hoping that the Prophet (pbuh) would have been proud of what you did today?

My opinion about the satirical weekly aside – this is not a debate on how far the cartoonists went, how many lines they have crossed or their freedom of expression. To be blunt, Charlie Hebdo was fully aware of the risks involved in defying all authorities and going ahead with their cartoons; they were used to threats.

Back to tackling the fools, no matter how passions raged among the Muslim community against the crude cartoons of Islam’s holiest figure, killing 12 in order to retaliate is unacceptable!

When will all of this end? To you Obama: you keep telling us that you are invading all Arab countries, you are killing all extremists, you are dismantling all terrorist organizations and your war on terror is justified -  seriously, make it happen. Just as one feels bad for the victims of such attacks, my heart cries out even louder for these fools who keep throwing dirt on my religion simply because they have understood it the wrong way.

I condemn the attack made in the name of Islam on Charlie Hebdo today.