A year changes you. A lot.
2016 has been a different year. Very different. I am still trying to figure out if this is a positive different or a negative one.
On my own. Often I hear people say that one should always rely on oneself. I have lived this reality during this year. If at the start I felt scared to face life alone, I have realized that it is not as bad as it seemed. Embracing being alone while being surrounded by many is definitely a boost to one’s self-esteem and inner strength. In my case, it’s a choice I made. And I hope it’s one that pays off.
Selfish. Living with oneself in a crowd of hundreds (un)fortunately ends up in excessive self love. Once the choice has been made, you stop caring about others, at all levels. It sure helps bring inner peace and avoids incessant worrying. On the other hand, dismissing people’s thoughts and feelings becomes easy, frequent and too much of a habit. But, when one’s focus is selfishness, why care about who says what.
Ticking Bomb. Can one think alone, act alone and live alone for long? I mean, is it healthy – not for oneself, but for humanity – as in, can the world survive the explosion which is meant to happen, eventually? Jokes aside, repressing anger and opinions should not be part of this introspection. One can live by oneself while participating, now and then, in social spheres. All along, one should keep in mind that selfishness shall prevail.
The coming year, should I pick one of my missions; I choose to keep on finding peace with exactly who and what I am. Most importantly, to take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my flaws, and never to bother altering who and what I am.
The most important thing that I’ve done this year: I survived.